Wisdom in Relationships, Friendship, and Counsel

Wisdom in Relationships, Friendship, and Counsel

Main Texts: Proverbs 13:20; Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 18:24; Proverbs 27:5–6, 17; 1 Corinthians 15:33

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” — Proverbs 13:20

Introduction

Who you walk with matters.

You can love everybody without allowing everybody to influence you.

Jesus loved sinners, but He did not surrender His identity to their values.

The Bible repeatedly teaches that relationships have influence.

Your friends influence your thinking.

Your relationships influence your habits.

Your environment can influence your expectations.

Your closest voices can influence your decisions.

Therefore, walking in wisdom requires wisdom about relationships.

1. Your Companions Influence Your Direction

Proverbs 13:20 is direct:

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise.”

The people around you may not determine your future, but they can influence the direction in which you are moving.

Consider a person walking with someone who constantly complains.

Eventually, complaining can begin to feel normal.

Walk with someone who is disciplined, and discipline may become more attractive.

Walk with someone who honors God, and their example can encourage your faith.

Walk with someone who consistently compromises, and compromise can gradually become easier.

2. Choose Friends Who Can Tell You the Truth

Proverbs 27:6 says:

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”

A genuine friend is not simply someone who tells you what you want to hear.

Sometimes love says:

“You are wrong.”

Sometimes love says:

“That decision is dangerous.”

Sometimes love says:

“You need to apologize.”

Sometimes love says:

“You are drifting spiritually.”

A person who always agrees with you may not necessarily be helping you.

Wisdom values faithful correction.

3. You Need Godly Counsel

Proverbs 15:22 says:

“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.”

This does not mean every decision should be placed before everybody.

It means important decisions should not always be made in isolation.

Seek counsel from mature believers.

Seek people who have demonstrated character.

Seek people who know Scripture.

Seek people who are willing to tell you the truth.

Do not seek counsel only from people who will validate what you already want.

4. Be Careful About Relationships That Pull You Away From God

The Bible does not tell us to hate people who do not share our faith.

But it does warn against allowing ungodly influence to control us.

1 Corinthians 15:33 says:

“Evil communications corrupt good manners.”

A Christian can love someone and still recognize:

“This relationship is unhealthy for my spiritual direction.”

Wisdom understands boundaries.

5. Jesus and His Relationships

Jesus had crowds around Him.

He ministered to thousands.

He ate with sinners.

He interacted with religious leaders.

But He also had a closer group of disciples.

And among those disciples, Peter, James, and John were present for certain significant moments.

This teaches us that relationships have different levels of intimacy and responsibility.

You can love many people.

But you cannot give everyone the same access to your heart.

Biblical Illustration: Rehoboam

Rehoboam, Solomon’s son, provides a powerful warning.

When he became king, he sought counsel about how to govern Israel.

The older advisers gave him wise counsel.

But Rehoboam rejected their advice and listened instead to younger companions who encouraged a harsher approach.

The result was devastating: the kingdom was divided.

One leadership decision was influenced by the counsel he chose to trust.

The lesson is clear:

The voices you listen to can influence the decisions you make.

6. Become the Kind of Friend You Want

It is easy to complain about not having wise friends.

But ask yourself:

Am I a wise friend?

Do I encourage people toward Christ?

Can people trust me?

Do I keep confidences?

Do I tell the truth?

Do I celebrate others?

Do I correct with love?

Do I pray for my friends?

Do I help people grow spiritually?

Proverbs 27:17 says:

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”

God wants us not only to find wise people but also to become people who help others become wiser.

Practical Application

Evaluate your relationships.

Ask yourself :

• Who has the strongest influence on me?
• What values do my closest friends promote?
• Can my friends correct me?
• Do I have mature Christian counsel?
• Am I influencing others toward Christ?
• Are there relationships where I need healthier boundaries?

You do not have to abandon everyone who thinks differently from you.

But you must understand the difference between loving someone and allowing their values to shape you.

Reflection

Lord, give me wisdom concerning the people I allow close to my heart. Help me to recognize relationships that strengthen my walk with You. Make me a faithful, honest, loving, and godly friend to others.

Who walks beside you matters because relationships have direction.